I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
