My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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