Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
