I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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