You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
