Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We need to rekindle our bromance
How's work?
Spinning.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Randomize
