i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
