and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
That accounts for only three of the penises
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
