I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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