I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Sober January is a disaster.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
