At least make sure they are 18
Why
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
