What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
