escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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