Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Do you still have your period?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
