i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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