Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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