my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize