I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
