We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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