she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
