she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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