Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
