the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize