i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
