last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize