I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
