yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
