Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
