And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
