It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
