Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
