don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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