You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
