we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My dick has a subreddit
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
