I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
