I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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