he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize