Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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