I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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