why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
