2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
