my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
