We're like a lot better than the average bears
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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