was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Floor bacon is actually really good
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
