Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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