How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
