you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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