PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
