new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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