Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
there's paper in my vomit.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
