Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
