I want to stick my p in your. b.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
