I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize