i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
