wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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