is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I showed him my bush... on skype.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
