He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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