No awkward lesbian experiences without me
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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