YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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