Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
