so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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