think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize