I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
In America we eat man semen.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
