Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
