Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
