I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
