Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
