She announced her abortion via fbk
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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