I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He called his prostate his "boner button".
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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