A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
