No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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