Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
