i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
