just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
