i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
