guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
