Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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