I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize