There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize