There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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