Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
