He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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